if you like me you must not know who I am
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We need a shit load of segways right now
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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