I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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