it wasn't lemon gatorade
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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