Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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