i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
