He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i barfeds in our rink
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
