with your own penis?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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