so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
