no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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