is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
