Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
