It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
