i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
