I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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