Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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