I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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