There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
false alarm. still invincible.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
