Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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