Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
