I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
