I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
