A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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