And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Panties = found
Randomize
