The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize