No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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