D3 body, D1 cock
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
