Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
