I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
