drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
