What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
