Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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