so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
