So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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