Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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