O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
