i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
