Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we're making bets on your personal life
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
