Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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