I must be too annoying 4 u.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
