I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
