She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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