69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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