Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize