you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
