Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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