Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
