the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
