Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize