I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
