sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
