Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She told me I should be a condom model.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
