im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize