The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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