I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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