I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
