I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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