Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Sorry about my life...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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