How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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