So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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