just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
