I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
