11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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