I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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