I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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